


Charms

by wxngdii (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, enemies ish?, harry is whipped and honestly who isn't, no voldy bc he just destroys lives nd i hate him, set in fifth year!!, the marauders are alive nd well :"), will add more later!!, will get spicy in later chapters :))))
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/wxngdii
Summary: "Do you trust me?""More than I'd care to admit."
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 84





	1. Treacle Tarts

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is very obviously the first chapter and im excited to hear what yall think!! pls leave kudos nd comments it'll mean the world to me haskfskjfalkf  
> i hope u enjoyed it!! xx

Harry was more than surprised to see Draco standing outside the Gryffindor common room, his usually prim and proper attire messily tucked out, and his platinum blonde hair that was always shiny and slicked back with globs of gel in the day was now dishevelled and wavy, as if he had been running his hands through it for a long time. 

Very much confused, Harry looked right and left for any ears before stepping out - though most of his face was still covered with the dark of the night. Crossing his arms warily, he leaned against the space between the wall and the stairs, eyeing the blonde for a little while before raising an eyebrow. 

“So? What are you doing here? Last I heard you kind of hated my guts.” Harry sighed, and it was true. Ever since Harry became Quidditch Captain, all Draco ever talked about was how utterly unfair it was that he became captain probably only because he was James Potter’s son, and everyone treated him like some kind of God on the field. Harry just found his whining and complaining amusing, so he never told the blonde about the many hours spent in the sun and rain practising and practising and practising to even be considered good. Just because he caught Neville’s Remembrall in First Year didn’t mean he was automatically the best. 

And it was because of this - and the fact that Harry was already sort of famous, due to being James Potter’s son - that Draco had taken it upon himself to annoy Harry every chance he could, either coming up with an insult or doing it the classic way; sticking his foot out and tripping the raven haired boy. Harry never complained or got back at Draco for it because he found his jealousy so utterly amusing, and behind the blonde’s back he was always laughing at his stupid antics. 

“Well _you_ shouldn’t be sneaking out anyway.” Draco grumbled, producing three treacle tarts from his pocket and awkwardly holding them out. “Eat them. It’s a peace offering.” He said, and before Harry could protest, he dropped them into the other boy’s hands, rubbing the crumbs off his robes. Harry raised a cautious eyebrow and squinted his eyes at Draco looking at the pastry suspiciously. 

“Sure, and how do I know these aren’t poisoned? Your dorm is literally beside the Potions’ classroom.” Harry said, grinning only a little when Draco sighed exasperatedly. “I already said, it’s a peace offering. Just eat it, for Merlin’s sake. I want to be here as much as you do.” The blonde groaned, and even in the semi-darkness Harry could see the eye roll from the other boy and he shook his head, slowly eating one of them. With the tarts still in his mouth, he raised an eyebrow again and kicked Draco lightly with his foot, wanting him to talk. “You haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?” He asked, though his words were slightly muffled because of the food in his mouth. A little disgusted, Draco shook his head and sighed, before producing a piece of paper from his other pocket. Harry wondered just how many things he could fit inside his pocket while the blonde fumbled around with the paper a little, before opening the small, neat square to its full size.

Without saying anything, he thrusted the paper into Harry’s hands, casting a Lumos while he was at it. Harry wiped off the crumbs from his mouth and grabbed the paper, before widening his eyes in shock. It was Draco’s Charms test - but with a big fat ‘Dreadful’ smacked right at the top of it in bright red ink. Harry looked between the paper and an uncomfortable-looking Draco before blowing out a breath. “You got a Dreadful for Charms? I thought you were good at it.” Harry said, half in shock and half in bewilderment. Professor Flitwick had always pointed Draco out in class for being one of the firsts to master a spell, and because of how good he was there was competition between him and Hermione. Harry certainly didn’t expect Draco to receive such a bad grade for a subject he was terrific in. 

“I- I had some stuff to deal with. But it’s no matter.” Draco said softly, and Harry could tell what he said was true. Even though he usually had that cheeky grin on his face whenever he teased Harry, anyone could tell he was going through some stuff. He was arriving late to classes, sleeping in places he shouldn’t and he was handing in assignments weeks after it was due. Harry wanted to ask him if he was alright, but he knew Draco would just brush it off. 

“Anyway, Professor Flitwick asked me to- um,” the blonde fumbled, as if trying to find the right words to say. If the situation wasn’t as serious as it was, Harry would’ve laughed at the expression on his face. “He asked me to get you to tutor me.” Draco finished quickly, looking slightly uncomfortable, eyes glancing everywhere else except for Harry. The raven haired boy's lips strung up in a small smile of disbelief, shaking his head and laughing a little. Draco widened his eyes incredulously and smacked Harry lightly, while the other boy tried not to shake with laughter. “It’s not funny!” The blonde said, but even his frown started to dissipate into a grin and before both boys knew it, they were laughing uncontrollably, and it took some time before they both stopped and started to breathe normally. 

“Sorry, I just can’t believe it. You’re asking me for help?” Harry grinned, handing the paper back to the blonde. “What happened to your competitive spirit?” Draco shook his head at that, rolling his eyes when Harry quoted what the Sorting Hat had said on their first day. 

“Shut up,” the blonde said, but Harry could tell he didn’t mean it - at least not badly anyway. “So will you help me?” Draco asked, facing Harry with an uncertainty on his face that Harry hadn’t seen before. Usually he was always so confident and cocky; so sure of his surroundings and place in school that sometimes even Harry himself was intimidated by him. 

“I’ll have to think about it. What’s in it for me?” Harry replied with a grin, and he laughed when he saw how quickly the blonde’s face fell. “Only joking. Of course I’ll help you. I’ll see you at the Hall tomorrow.” Harry said quickly, his playful grin turning into a small smile of assurance. If Harry looked at Draco properly - even though it was quite hard to do in this time of night - the blonde looked exhausted, with dark eye bags under his eyes and hands that were shaking slightly; and Harry wondered what stuff he had gone through the past few months. But knowing better than to ask, he watched as Draco turned away and started down the stairs, before whisper-shouting his name.

“Hey! Why couldn’t you just ask me in the day?” Harry asked, scratching the back of his head lightly. “My friends don’t mind, you can always approach me.” 

Draco shook his head and rolled his eyes, as if Harry was being ridiculous. 

“And embarrass myself further? No thanks.” Draco said, turning around and heading down the stairs. He gave Harry a small wave as he went down, and Harry stupidly waved back, even when he knew the blonde wasn’t going to turn around and see it. 

Maybe it was the treacle tarts talking, but Harry walked back into his common room with a small smile, excited about the events that were going to happen the next day.


	2. Blonde Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to a certain blonde, Harry learns some things about himself that he never knew about..

“Draco what?”

Ron blinked in disbelief, and Hermione actually laughed. “Who does he think he is?” She said, rolling her eyes. Ron raised his eyebrows and shook his head, silently repeating what Harry had said to himself. “I hope you didn’t agree.” Hermione said again, and Ron nodded violently. 

“He’s such an arse, really. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever agree to that.” Ron said, looking at Harry when silence ensued in the room. The raven haired boy had a sheepish smile on his face, and Hermione squinted at the book in his hands. 

“Charms.. Harry, what? You said yes?” Hermione scoffed, brows furrowed and arms crossed. Ron’s eyes widened again and he hopped off the window ledge, walking in huge strides over to Harry, and brought his hand to Harry’s forehead.

“Are you quite alright? You _do_ know this is Malfoy we’re talking about?” Ron gave a look of bewilderment, scratching the back of his head, and Harry tightened his grip on the textbook; reminding himself of what he agreed to do. Hermione sighed and sat cross legged on the couch, staring at him quizzically, as if expecting an explanation.

Harry didn’t understand why they were making such a big deal out of it - he was just helping out a classmate, was he not? He wanted to tell them that they were being overly dramatic but he bit his tongue and tried a smile, and sat down on the floor across Ron and Hermione. He was mildly aware of the fact that they were acting like parents who caught their child sneaking back home past curfew - and he tried to hold in his laughter.

“Well, it just.. sort of happened? He scored a Dreadful, guys,” Harry sighed, setting the textbook down gently beside him. “And you know he’s good at Charms.” 

Hermione frowned and brought her legs up to her chin, resting her head against her hands. “Well.. he said all those things about you, and you aren’t annoyed?” She asked, and Ron came around from behind Hermione and plopped down on the couch beside her. The ginger nodded, sighing as he leaned into the couch. “I’d be so irritated if I were you.” He said, and Harry shrugged. 

“He’s not really himself lately, you know? He doesn’t even talk much in class anymore.” Harry let out a long exhale and ran his hand through his hair. Hermione nodded slowly, and hopped up. 

“Well, I can't stop you. Go do your thing then," Hermione sighed, and Harry shot up immediately with an almost excited grin on his face - and then Hermione grabbed his arm. 

"But Harry, if he speaks ill of you-” 

"We'll hex him right away!" Ron winked, and Harry laughed as he left the common room.

Harry was unexpectedly walking towards the hall with a bounce in his step, adjusting his glasses and straightening his sweater for the hundredth time. It was already 6 in the evening when he headed towards the hall, and as he nodded his head and smiled at some Gryffindors and teachers on the way, his focus was ultimately on the flash of wild blonde hair that had just entered the hall. 

Harry’s eyes lit up and he quickly shuffled through books and bodies, bursting into the hall with a wide smile. Heads lifted and eyes were fixated onto the raven haired boy as he zipped right to the back of the hall, where Draco was taking out books and notes from his satchel. He looked up when Harry made his way over, only casting a cursory glance before looking back at his textbook. The raven haired boy was only a little bit confused - they were on good terms, weren’t they? - but he sat down beside the blonde anyway, albeit a little cautiously. 

“Not pleased to see me?” Harry asked jokingly, and the smile was back on his face when Draco rolled his eyes and laughed. Beaming, Harry opened his textbook and was about to write some notes for the blonde, but paused when Draco tapped his shoulder. He had a nonchalant look on his face, but there was a lunchbox in his hand, and the contents revealed to be biscuits and cakes and scones, and Harry laughed in disbelief. 

“I didn’t know you were a thief, Malfoy,” Harry grinned and grabbed a scone from the green and silver lunchbox, an eyebrow raised in question. “And a lunchbox too. Aren’t you a cutie.” He teased, and the blonde swatted his arm. 

“They’re not all for you, Potter. Give them back if you’re gonna judge.” Draco huffed, and Harry shrugged with a wide smile, stuffing the scone in his mouth. His eyes lit up, and he quickly grabbed more. “How did you get them anyway? The kitchens are so hard to find.” Harry said in a mouthful of pastry, and Draco cringed, remembering the way Harry had so ungraciously done this the night before too. 

“Can you chew everything first? What a barbarian.” Draco said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes when Harry made a face. He reached for a jam tart and ate it, and even if he tried not to show it, anyone could tell he was impressed. “I have Hufflepuff friends, you know.” 

Harry snickered and bit into another scone, making Draco frown. “What’s so funny?” He said, crossing his arms in mock anger at how much Harry’s shoulders shook with laughter. “You.. Hufflepuff.. friends?” Harry choked between breaths, and Draco scoffed and flipped through his textbook, but both boys were smiling softly to themselves and everyone could see it.

They worked in comfortable silence after that, grabbing the occasional pastry and Draco tapping Harry when he was confused about something. It was probably the pastries talking, because Harry couldn’t explain why he was enjoying the blonde’s presence more as the time drew on. With every sarcastic comment and eye roll and _ridiculously_ charming smile shot his way, Harry was getting flustered and shifted a lot in his seat, which definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde. 

“Why are you moving around so much? Surely the pastries haven’t been tampered with.” Draco scrunched up his nose, and Harry absolutely could _not_ explain the way he felt his heart jump. Coughing, Harry angled his face away from the blonde to hide the blush that threatened to bloom, and after faking a hacking fit for close to a minute Harry turned back to Draco with a too-wide smile. 

“It’s nothing. I’m always fidgety. Heh.” He chuckled awkwardly, and when Draco shrugged and returned to his textbook, Harry had to pinch himself to stop squirming around so much. It took him a while (thirty minutes, really) to fully calm down and get his breathing back and actually talk to Draco without blushing like a maniac. 

This went on until Filch came to shoo them away, and once they'd packed up all their things and were heading back to their dorms, Draco paused and started to fiddle with his thumbs. Harry leaned against a wall and was about to ask him if he was alright until Draco sighed and looked around. 

“Thank you for agreeing, you- you didn’t have to.” Draco said softly, and Harry could have sworn his heart was beating out of his chest. He wanted to scream and jump and run around the castle but instead he smiled warmly at the blonde, and shrugged. 

“It’s no problem. And anyways, you’re good for my late night cravings,” Harry grinned, but Draco furrowed his brows and looked at him weirdly, and it took Harry a solid twenty seconds before he realised what he said. 

“Wait- Late night cravings as in pastries and tarts and- Oh my God I didn’t m- Oh Merlin.” Harry shook his head, and was immensely relieved when Draco burst out in laughter, and he smiled giddily as he saw the blonde throw his head back and laugh. He looked much better than he did in the past few weeks and Harry’s heart swelled at the fact that it was him who was making the blonde happy. 

“Okay, weirdo. I’ll bring so many deserts your teeth will rot in no time,” Draco grinned, and a few beats passed in silence as they returned to breathing normally. 

“But seriously though, thank you. I appreciate it.” Draco smiled, and Harry watched with a weird fluttering in his stomach as he saw the wild mess of blonde hair grow smaller and smaller. 

That night, as Ron complained about OWLs and Seamus and Dean goofed around with Neville, all Harry could think about was Draco’s smile, his voice, the way his blonde hair shined in the light, his sarcasm, his ability to understand things so quickly, his handwriting -

 _Merlin,_ Harry thought. He didn’t even know he was into guys! He was so sure of himself - he did like Ginny for a while - but thinking back, maybe he didn’t _really_ like her. He didn’t feel as much for her in the past three years compared to how he felt about Draco now in the past few hours. 

Harry sighed. He wondered what Hermione and Ron’s reaction would be if he told them he liked Malfoy, let alone guys. Yeah, they were all okay with his godfather Sirius and his boyfriend, Remus’ relationship, but they’ve always been friends and it was just natural for them. What would they think about Draco? The one who always has snarky comments, the one whose sarcasm and coldness can’t be surpassed. But Draco’s much more tamed these days - well, for the past two days at least. Surely it’d be okay?

Harry groaned inwardly. This was too much to think about for one day. Maybe if he just went to sleep, everything would be clearer in the morning. 

So with a muffled goodnight and a small smile, Harry got under the covers and went to sleep, his mind still swimming around a certain blonde boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry it took so long to get chapter 2 out, i had a week of exams in between but THEY'RE FINALLY OVER so more regular updates!!  
> big thank u to my best friend and girlfriend who helped me proofread this if yall see this note i love yall or whateva 
> 
> pls leave kudos nd comments!! they mean a lot to me nd ill love u forever if u do hehe


	3. Not True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry comforts Draco while he cries.. then convinces himself the blonde doesn't feel the same.

The next morning, Harry caught glimpses of Draco around the school - laughing with his friends in History of Magic, writing notes in Charms and glancing at Harry when Professor Flitwick mentioned something they had talked about the day before. The raven haired boy was thankful Draco only looked at him for a few seconds, because Lord knows how he’d react if he saw the blush on his face. 

Even Ron and Hermione were asking Harry how he got the blonde to be so.. decent, and Harry only replied with a shrug. To be honest, he didn’t know himself. Hadn’t Draco always been like this? Sure, he threw mean comments here and there, maybe tripped up a few second years, teased people.. okay, maybe Ron and Hermione had a point. But Harry just couldn’t imagine Draco like that anymore, especially not with the new revelation he discovered last night. 

And because of this new revelation.. Harry had decided to bury his feelings deep down and let them wither and die. There was absolutely zero chance Hermione and Ron would ever speak to him again if they knew and Draco would probably just push him away. Thinking about it now, Harry realised he barely knew anything about the blonde, but yet still feels so strongly about him. All he truly knew about Draco were the basic facts; he’s a Slytherin, his birthday is 5th June, he’s good at Potions, likes pastries.. and that’s about it. He doesn’t know if he’s a dog or cat person, or prefers light or day, his hopes and aspirations, or what keeps him up at night. He can’t possibly be so smitten if he barely knows anything about the person, could he?

It didn’t help that he had to see the blonde so much more often now because of how much material he’s had to catch up in not just for Charms, but nearly all his subjects - even Potions. Harry was shocked again of course, but he knew he shouldn’t judge. Everyone’s experienced burnout one way or another, and Harry knew Draco wasn’t risking his grades for nothing. He was usually top in all classes, sometimes getting even higher scores than Hermione herself and all in all he was a top student, but of course in recent months he’s been a bit off track. 

Apparently he told no one what had happened during the holidays and why he had come back so different in 5th year - not even Crabbe and Goyle. Harry could only imagine how bad the incident must have been if he couldn’t even tell his best friends. Were Crabbe and Goyle even truly his best friends? Everyone knew they started off as his henchmen of sorts - running around after him to make him seem more intimidating. It was amusing at first to think of it, but Harry soon realised that meant that Draco was pretty lonely, and his heart broke all over again for the blonde. 

He hoped that maybe he would be one of Draco’s first real friends, and a small part of him hoped they’ll become something more.

Smiling giddily, Harry shook his head and followed behind Ron for Quidditch practice, adjusting his glasses and gripping his broom a little tighter. 

As they laughed and joked, Harry soon realised a small commotion breaking out in the field, and with curious eyes the both of them quickened their pace and hurried to the field. 

Ginny was standing a small distance away from the crowd, looking worried and anxious, but breaking out into a relieved sigh when she saw Ron and Harry.

“It’s Malfoy. Someone pried about the holidays and well,” Ginny winced, tightening her ponytail. “You know how he is.” 

Harry widened his eyes and started to run towards the crowd where he could hear people egging someone on, and he hoped that Draco wasn't the one doing the punching.

Well, it was bad either way but of course from a moral standpoint it’d be better if Draco wasn’t doing the punching. 

Harry got to the crowd and peeled everyone away, and though he was shocked at how wildly Draco was behaving, he set his stupor aside and focused on getting Draco away from the poor third year who was getting bloodied up really badly. 

“Draco,” Harry said, gripping tightly onto the blonde’s shoulders as they shook violently. Draco glanced up at him, and once Harry saw his glassy eyes, he was more than determined to help him through this. “Draco, come on. Stand up.” Harry whispered soothingly, and through tears and choked breaths the blonde nodded, giving the boy under him a glare. 

“Don’t you  _ ever  _ say that about my family again.” He spit, and Harry immediately helped him onto shaky legs and brought him behind one of the makeshift pillars, ignoring the shocked faces of the other people and Ginny telling him to come back. 

Harry set Draco onto the ground against the pillar, and when he looked up into his eyes, he saw so much pain and sadness that he almost started to cry too, and he sympathised beyond belief for the boy. Draco started to sob and shake and Harry, not knowing what to do, only sighed and brought the blonde close to him. Draco couldn’t do anything except cling onto Harry’s jersey and cry, and though Harry would have much preferred if the situation was a lot more different, cherished the moment anyway and let the boy cry.

Thirty minutes passed until Draco could take normal breaths again, and even then Harry insisted he wouldn’t be leaving Draco’s side anytime soon. Between the soothing words and harsh tears, they had somehow gotten to a position where Draco was in the crook of Harry’s neck, Harry’s arms wrapped tight around his waist and their chests pressed together. Harry ran his hand slowly up and down Draco’s back, hopefully trying to get Draco to calm down. 

It took a little while longer until all that remained were just sniffles, and Draco slowly removed himself from Harry’s arms. Not wanting to comment on it, Harry lay the blonde gently on his back and adjusted his glasses, looking at Draco with wide, concerned eyes. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Harry asked softly, and Draco’s lips trembled and it almost seemed like another onslaught of tears would torrent down, but he shook his head instead, and Harry nodded. Right now he could only support Draco emotionally until he got back up on his feet, and truth be told, he wanted to stay like that with Draco forever and never get up again.

“I.. Merlin. That was embarrassing,” Draco said, his voice still raspy and shaky, and Harry immediately shot up, shaking his head. “That won’t happen again, I’m sorry. I knew you had to practice-”

Harry shushed him and placed a cautious hand on Draco’s. When the blonde showed no sign of moving, Harry smiled softly and rubbed soothing circles onto his thumb. 

“It’s perfectly fine, Draco. Don’t apologise. Your feelings aren’t embarrassing, they’re what makes us human,” Harry said. “Or wizards, at least.” He grinned, and was relieved when Draco let out a small chuckle at that. 

The blonde ran his fingers through his messy hair and sighed, and it was then that Harry truly saw how tired he was. 

“I’ll tell you one day, I promise. I just- just not now.” He said, and Harry nodded, and Draco didn’t want to admit it, but Harry’s hand on his was actually dissipating his nerves and he pulled his hand away, getting a little anxious about it. If Harry felt anything, it certainly didn’t show on his face. Instead he got up and stretched out his hand for Draco to take, and despite himself, he grabbed Harry’s hand tightly and stood up, walking back to the field together. 

Practice had been cancelled that day, and everyone went back to their dorms, fervently whispering about Harry and Draco. 

_ He said his name once and he immediately snapped out of it! _

_ I didn’t even know they were friends.. didn’t Draco hate him or something? _

_ I wonder if he’s okay.. I’ve never seen him like that.  _

Harry had walked Draco all the way to the dungeons and didn’t leave until Draco was safely inside his common room with the help of Crabbe and Goyle. They gave him weird looks when he stood outside their door with a shaken Draco beside him, but immediately rushed forward to help him in. Draco turned around and gave Harry a small nod before the door closed, and that was more than enough as a "thank you" for Harry.

When he arrived at his own dorm, Hermione and Ron were chatting softly by the fireplace, and gave Harry a smile when he flopped down onto the armchair beside them. 

“Ron told me what happened,” Hermione said, and she looked a little uncomfortable as she said the next bit. “..Is he okay?” 

Harry shrugged and crossed his legs, sighing. “I don’t think so. Whatever that third year said must have really shaken him up.” Ron nodded, before sitting up a little straighter, the way he does when he suddenly thinks of something. 

“What was Malfoy doing there anyway? It was supposed to be Gryffindor only, wasn’t it?” Ron said, leaning his head against his palm. “Unless he wanted to see someone.” He continued, his serious facade giving away to a teasing smile. 

Hermione looked between the both of them before what Ron said fully settled. Widening her eyes, she swatted the ginger’s arm, laughing in disbelief. 

"You don't seriously think he was there just for fun, do you?" Ron grinned, and when the both of them raised their heads to look at Harry, they were surprised to see his face reddening, and the both of them glanced at each other before looking back at Harry.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Hermione asked, and that was all it took for the raven haired boy to snap out of it and jump to his feet. 

"Of course I am! Absolutely fine, yep. Stop being ridiculous, Ron." He said quickly, and before both of them could say anything further he zipped straight up the stairs to his dorm, sinking into his bed with his heart stupidly beating out of his chest. 

Draco was there because of him. Ron's words repeated over and over in his head, and Harry had to physically stop himself from screaming and making a fool out of himself. It can’t possibly be true. Why would Draco even want to talk to him outside of tutoring anyway?

The more Harry thought about it, the more he convinced himself Draco absolutely did not feel the same. There was just no way that anything could happen and coupled with the fact that he knew so little about the blonde, maybe he should just focus on actually tutoring him instead of making up silly scenarios in his head. 

Sighing, he sank under the covers and stayed there, even as Ron came up to check on him, even as Neville went off about some new plant discovery or Dean raving about Seamus’ recent explosion. Harry only thought of one thing through all that ruckus; Draco does not feel the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit bittersweet this time :")) bt i mean we have a drarry hug so :DD
> 
> pls tell me what u think nd dont forget to leave comments nd kudos!!


	4. Bitter Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry starts to question... everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> best experienced with one of these songs (all slowed with reverb):  
> mr loverman  
> visions of gideon  
> dynasty by miia  
> roslyn by bon iver

The castle was bustling with news about Draco’s outburst, though the animated voices dulled down to hushed whispers whenever Harry entered a room. Curious eyes followed him wherever he went, and Harry felt like he was back in first year, when everyone was awe-struck that they were attending school with Quidditch legend James Potter’s son. Of course, a few first years still asked for an autograph whenever they saw Harry, but the splendor had worn off with time. 

Harry only caught flashes of Draco throughout the day, and the disappointment was evident on his face when Draco didn’t respond to any of Harry’s calls. He even tried Charming a paper crane to fly over to Draco, but the blonde only let it rest on his table before hurriedly chucking it into his satchel, not even bothering to open it. 

Draco ignored Harry for almost the entire day, only speaking to him during Potions when Draco asked Harry to get him an extra textbook from the cupboard. Their hands brushed when Harry handed the book over, and while Harry felt _a lot_ of things from that tiny touch, Draco didn’t seem fazed at all, which left Harry confused and sulking, though he tried his best to wear his usual grin in front of his friends. 

If they noticed his weird expressions, they didn’t say anything and continued laughing and joking with him like normal, which Harry was grateful for. He certainly didn’t want them to pry, and especially not about something like this. Harry was getting more and more sure about his feelings as each second passed, and it was safe to say he really was falling fast for the blonde. If he was being honest, it scared him just how fast he was falling, but he was willing to convince himself that it would just pass soon. 

Speaking of feelings, he was also _very_ sure he had none left for Ginny. He was more sure of it when he spotted her laughing and dancing with Luna, and if he didn’t know them so well, he’d probably think they were just dancing. But it was hard to think they were _just_ dancing with so much love in both of their eyes, so Harry only smiled and left them to enjoy each other’s company. It seemed that they were both into blondes of the same gender.

When evening finally rolled around, Harry was awkwardly standing against the huge oak doors of the hall, hands gripping tight onto the straps of his satchel. He was rocking between his heels and toes, nervously running his hand through his hair every few seconds. He stood there for a while until his legs started to ache, so he stepped into the hall and sat slowly, hoping against hope that the blonde might still show up. Deciding to kill time, he opened his satchel with a sigh, taking out his assignments and completing them as he waited for Draco. 

As the pinks and oranges of the sky faded away into inky black, it was painfully obvious that the blonde wasn’t showing up anytime soon. Harry had finished all his work a long time ago and already checked it more than five times, circled the ground floor and courtyard three times and even went up to his common room for a little while. There was still no sign of the blonde when he came back, and he sat there in the great hall all alone, trying to will the tears away from his eyes. He was never one to cry easily, but apparently when it came to Draco his feelings were just scattered all over the place, and Harry couldn’t tell whether he liked it or not. 

Once Filched had yelled at him to leave, Harry was walking slowly back to his dorm, traitorous tears slipping down his face, his hands violently wiping them away from his eyes. His emotions were strung in one big messy lump, traces of anger, hurt, anxiousness and worry gripping at him as he pulled himself up the stairs. 

He was thankful for the silence of the common room when he entered it, only the soft crackling of fire and distant hoots from owls could be heard, and Harry sank into the couch, draping a tired arm over his face. He honestly didn’t know what to feel. Weren’t they friends? Didn’t Harry comfort Draco while he was crying his eyes out? Didn’t they at least have _something_?

Harry knew for sure the blonde didn’t think of him that way - but weren’t they at least friends? They were absolutely fine the day before, with Draco even promising to tell Harry about the holidays. Didn’t that say _anything_ about their relationship? 

Of course, Harry knew Draco wasn’t ready to share about his family, but they were doing fine - at least to him, anyway. What happened? Surely Harry didn’t do anything wrong, did he? 

Harry didn’t know when the tears started pouring down again, and he only guessed his sobs got so loud that there were people rushing down the stairs, eyes widened and hands clamped over their mouths in shock at the sight of Harry - Harry James Potter, the boy who never cried since the day he stepped foot into Hogwarts, the boy who always had a smile on his face and a bright glow about him. 

Seeing him now, shoulders shaking violently because of the intensity of the breaths he took, painful onslaught of tears dripping down his face, it dawned on them that maybe they didn’t really know Harry at all. 

Ron, Hermione and Ginny burst through the crowd, with Fred and George directing everyone back to their dorms. Even they looked a little shaken, and it wasn’t even them who were sobbing so devastatingly.

Hermione didn’t probe into anything, only pulling Harry close and hugging him as he sobbed and shook, and even Ginny had to look away. Ron rubbed his hand on his back soothingly, almost like he did to Draco just a day before, and more tears spilled from his eyes as he unwillingly let the blonde back into his head. His arms were limp by his sides, but everyone could feel and hear him taking shaky breaths and their hearts broke as Harry continued to bawl.

It took some time until he could calm down, and even then he was still sniffling and shaking a little, his sweater dampened by the tears and unknowing to them, his broken feelings for a blonde named Malfoy.

They let him silently trudge upstairs, and once he got under the covers, he drifted off to sleep almost immediately, the day’s events wearing him out so much that he found he couldn’t keep his eyes open. 

Even as he tried not to, he found flashes of wild blonde hair and green robes fluttering around his head, and he tried to will thoughts about them away. It was bad enough already that he had cried in front of almost the entire Gryffindor house, and he certainly didn’t need more salt in the wound.

But try as he may, he just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about the blonde, and with him already struggling to sleep peacefully, he let the feelings of blue engulf him as he closed his eyes, heart breaking a little more as each second ticked on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shorter chapter today, getting results back is very very stressful and i just want to cry 24/7 now lol. this chapter is also very very raw and i haven't checked through thoroughly yet so sorry for any mistakes!!  
> thank u sm for the sweet comments on my previous chapters,, im kinda nervous for this one haha but pls leave comments! i rlly wna know what u think, especially for this chapter<3


	5. Clock Towers and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk and eat pastries again, but Harry's just more confused than ever and he's sure that isn't exactly a good thing.

Harry was immensely grateful for the silence that he woke up to on Saturday morning. Sunlight was peeking in from the windows and his head was pounding, but he rubbed his tear-stained eyes anyway, yawning and stretching out his tired limbs. He could hear the faint sounds of chattering and laughing in the common room, and he decided to get under the covers and have a little more time to himself before going down to join the others.

The others. Harry groaned as he thought about how he’d so embarrassingly cried in front of so many people the night before. He never liked to cry in front of anyone - not even when he had a terrible accident the year before and broke his leg badly; which still hurt from time to time - and the first time he cried in Hogwarts just  _ had  _ to be in front of almost the entire Gryffindor house. Cringing, Harry was now definitely more than awake, so he left the bed with a long sigh, dreading the prying eyes and nagging questions that were sure to be fired at him soon. He wasn’t ready for any of that yet but braced himself anyway as he trudged down the stairs.

Surprisingly, no one looked at him any differently, only nodding and smiling at him like they always did. The familiarity of everything got him through the awkward run-in with Ginny and Luna, who smiled and patted his back.

“Everything will be alright, Harry,” Luna said softly, hugging Harry tight. “There is nothing more nonsensical than what you’re feeling now, but everything will make sense if he’s the right one.” She smiled, leaving Harry slightly confused but thankful anyways. He had no idea how Luna knew, but he trusted her and in the knowledge that she wouldn’t say a word to anyone else.

He entered the Great Hall a little apprehensively, but was relieved when Hermione and Ron said nothing about the night before, only piling much more food and biscuits on his plate than usual. Harry’s heart swelled with gratitude, and for the first time since the events of last night, he felt like everything was going to be okay.

Until he looked up, right into a pair of ash grey eyes.

Draco was staring at him with so much  _ intensity  _ that Harry had to take a breath, looking back at the food immediately. Draco was looking at him almost pleadingly; as if he wanted Harry to give him some sort of response - but Harry didn’t know if he had the energy to do so. He gave a half-hearted nod before rising from the table, making up some excuse about being tired before rushing to the clock tower, unwanted tears prickling at his eyes, ignoring the surprised exclaims from Ron and Hermione.

The clock tower was a place of comfort for him - be it when he lost a match he had practiced tirelessly for or when he’s just had enough of life in general. It saw most of his negativity and helped him through difficult times, and though he knew he should be telling his friends about his troubles, he preferred the calmness and serenity of the tower than endless questions and explosive reactions.

He didn’t even make it up the stairs before he felt a hand clamp down his wrist, and he was about to jerk away and snap at whoever it was because how dare they interrupt his brooding, but his breath caught in his throat when he saw those grey eyes again, and he sighed, pulling his hand away. 

“Can we talk?” Draco asked softly, and when Harry didn’t budge, the blonde looked around before reaching for his wrist again. “Please.”

Harry wanted to do a lot of things in that moment - scream at Draco, yell “No!” at the top of his lungs and walk away, cry and tell him to leave - but he nodded and started up the stairs instead. It seemed he was weak for everything the blonde does, and he really didn’t want that to be a permanent thing.

They climbed up the stairs in awkward silence, Draco occasionally looking at Harry and Harry pretending he never saw any of the glances, despite wanting so badly to just smile at him and laugh and eat desserts and have everything go back to the way it was.

They reached the top of the stairs and walked towards the landing behind the clock’s bells, overlooking the old courtyard where some people were reading, or playing Gobstones with their friends or just talking. It was this sort of familiarity that Harry needed to get himself through whatever Draco’s going to say without breaking down again. 

Harry leant against the railing and looked at Draco expectantly, and frowned in mild confusion when Draco reached for his pockets instead of saying anything. There was that lunchbox again, only smaller, and inside was an array of biscuits, just like the ones they had eaten days ago.

Without meaning to, Harry choked out a small laugh, coughing immediately afterwards, reaching for a scone with a blank stare, though he couldn’t stay that way for long because of just how good it tasted and the way Draco was looking at him. 

“You can’t bribe me with pastries all the time, you know.” Harry said in mock irritation, and Draco smiled that  _ stupid  _ smile of his and Harry almost forgot why he was upset at all. 

They ate in silence after that, and soon they ended up on the ground, sitting cross-legged beside each other with the lunchbox in between them. Harry had long since stopped dodging the blonde’s glances, and that counted as a win for Draco, who had no idea how to start speaking about why he was acting so strange the day before. He knew he should be honest - but it was so hard to do so when he’s been raised to be secretive all his life, but for some strange reason he wanted to be honest with Harry about everything, so he sighed and brought his legs up to his chest.

“I- I’m sorry,” He started, and Harry had to bite his tongue to refrain from telling the blonde not to apologise. He reached for another biscuit and bit into it, looking at Draco intently as he fiddled with his thumbs. Harry realised Draco does that a lot - before groaning inwardly that he has got to stop being so obsessive over every small thing he does.

“I knew we were supposed to meet yesterday, I swear, I didn’t forget,” He said, and Harry nodded. 

“But?”

Draco bit his lip before looking up right into Harry’s eyes, and tried to stop the tears pooling in his. 

“But I- There- Ugh, Merlin.”

Harry shifted a little closer to Draco, and placed a cautious hand over his. When there was no sign of Draco moving, Harry sighed and rubbed soothing circles onto his thumb, exactly like the way he did when Draco was crying those few days ago. The blonde took it as a sign to continue, and he tried not to fumble with his words.

“Crabbe and Goyle and everyone else started asking. About you- us. About us. And I guess I just got scared,” Draco said softly, and Harry heard so much vulnerability in his voice that he started to soften, threading his hand into Draco’s. The blonde looked at their intertwined hands and then back at Harry, but didn’t move, and Harry hoped they would stay like this for some time. 

“I was scared because I’m suddenly feeling all these- all these  _ things  _ and I didn’t know what to do with them, and then there’s you- you’re nice and kind and different and I just-” 

“I didn’t know what to do.” He finished, and he knew that wasn’t enough as an apology, but that was all he could say without crying again, though it wasn’t very helpful because there’s tears on his face and his hands are shaking and he’s scared and-

And Harry’s hands were on his face, wiping away the tears that Draco tried so hard to will away, and through his blurry vision he could make out a small smile on the other boy’s face, and he relaxed almost immediately, a smile slowly spreading on his. 

They leant against each other, holding hands and grinning and watching the people in the courtyard, before Harry slowly got up from the blonde’s shoulder. 

“What do you.. What do you mean by feelings?” Harry asked, his heart stupidly thumping in his chest. 

Draco looked stunned for a moment before coughing, and sat up a little straighter, pulling his hand away from Harry’s.

“You know. Feelings. I just thought all this while I hated you, but you’re alright I guess.” Draco grinned, and despite himself, Harry grinned back, reminding himself that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. 

They sat like that for a little while more, talking about classes and finishing up the rest of the food, before Draco left with a smile and a promise to meet him the next day at the Great Hall with lots more pastries and unfinished assignments. Harry rolled his eyes and waved him off, though he didn’t leave the tower until some time after. 

He was still reeling from what the blonde said - about his feelings, about not knowing what to do with those feelings. That couldn’t just mean friendship, could it? Harry started gnawing his bottom lip, a habit that he didn’t really shake off even after Hermione had scolded him so many times for it, saying that he’ll “bite it so much it'll fall right off his face.”

But then again, Draco didn’t say anything about something more than friendship. What else could he be implying? And technically they were on good terms for roughly only a week. There was no way Draco could ever think about him that way after hating him for close to four years. He can’t just do a complete 180 and think of Harry as more than a friend after just one week. 

Harry cringed. Was he reading too much into this? All Draco said was that he thinks differently of him, nothing more, nothing less.

Harry sighed. He wished he still liked Ginny sometimes, just because everything was so much more clearer then and all he had to really worry about was whether she liked him back or not. 

Trudging back to the common room, Harry went straight up to bed even though it was still awfully bright out and everyone else was making a ruckus. He had to sleep everything off, and a small part of him wished he could sleep his feelings off too. 

But the bigger part of him kept him awake with the knowledge of meeting a certain blonde boy the next day, paired with the stupid butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!! i'm super tired but somehow i managed to write something and i think i like it?? i'm not sure dhdfkjsifk but i hope u guys like it<3
> 
> i've been listening to angsty songs 24/7 now and i cry almost all the time writing but i'm not complaining bc they're painful but beautiful or maybe i'm just going crazy idk life is so stressful but oh well
> 
> i hope u liked this chapter,, and as always pls leave kudos and comments i always love to hear what u guys think!!


	6. Red Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone sends Harry a bouquet of red roses and Harry almost faints reading the letter attached to it.

Harry woke up the next morning to a loud commotion in the common room, hoots and howls of laughter echoing off the walls. He got up hurriedly and sped to change out of the too-small jumper Mrs Weasley had knitted for him last Christmas - Harry didn't know why Ron always called it hideous. Quite the contrary, Harry thought. It was sweet of her to always make handmade gifts for Harry despite having near thousands of them at home; most of them gag gifts from Sirius and Remus. Christmas was always special and exciting and Harry wouldn’t dare admit it to anyone, but it was his favourite holiday of the year. 

Thumping down the stairs, Harry at first didn’t get why there was so much noise - until his eyes zeroed in on the huge bouquet of flowers right smack in the middle of the common room, and if Harry squinted he could make out a piece of parchment attached to the wrappings of the bouquet. 

“Seems like yer got yerself an admirer, Harry!” Seamus roared with laughter, and Ron snatched the bouquet that had somehow gotten into Fred’s hands, and passed it to Harry with a teasing grin. 

“Go on, read it, mate!” Ron exclaimed, hopping beside Hermione who looked less than impressed at the mess in front of her. Shaking her head, she resumed reading, making her the only person who wasn’t currently staring at Harry with excitement. 

Harry opened the note a little slowly - because to be honest he himself was scared to read the contents of it - but skimmed it once anyways, before reddening and folding it into a neat square. 

“I think I’ll just- er,” 

Expectant faces looked at him, some in curiosity, some in confusion, but most of them had excited grins on their faces which fell when Harry shuffled awkwardly upstairs.

“-I’ll read this in my own time, sorry guys!” He hollered as he bolted up the stairs, heart slamming against his ribcage and hands tightening around the bouquet of the most beautifully enchanting red roses and a familiar green lunchbox, ignoring the shouts from the common room asking him to come back.

With shaky hands, Harry sank onto his bed and set the flowers aside as carefully as possible, before opening the parchment with his right hand and the lunchbox with his left.

_ Harry, _

_ I know I’m supposed to see you later today, trust me, I wouldn’t dream of forgetting.  _

_ But I have things to take care of - things that I can’t explain right now.  _

_ I’ve got you some more tarts; but I made them myself this time (yes, Potter, unbelievable, but I do know how to bake. Comes in handy if I want to bribe handsome unknowing young men ;) and I’ve got Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise and even Pansy praising my obviously esteemed culinary skills.  _

_ Well, I got a wee bit of help from Looney Lovegood, but don’t breathe a word about that to anyone or else I’ll never bring anything for you ever again. _

_ Also, I might have burnt some of them, I’m not too sure and my ego is far too big to care. But how are they anyways? I haven’t tasted any, though I bet it’s as amazing as the ones I steal- no,  _ **_take_ ** _ from the kitchens. Maybe even better, eh? _

Harry glanced at the open lunchbox and grabbed a jam tart, biting into it with a groan of satisfaction. It was good -  _ really  _ good. Maybe even better than the ones Draco steals- no,  **takes** from the kitchens.

_ Anyways, I hope you like them, though I don’t think you should be eating any more of those tooth-rotting pastries. Have some greens now and then for Merlin’s sake! Some Quidditch captain you are.  _

_ I’ll see you tomorrow after Potions. I promise.  _

_ Draco L. Malfoy.  _

_ P.s. Do you like the flowers? I’m not sure what type you liked but I heard Longbottom say you liked English roses because they remind you of your mother. What a mama’s boy. Don’t forget to place them somewhere warm because winter’s coming and I don’t want my money wasted. Get Longbottom to help you if you can’t manage. And before you complain,I’m only nagging for your own good, Mr Famous.  _

_ I’ll see you tomorrow.  _

Harry blinked before folding the parchment back into a square and tucking it under his pillow. Taking a deep breath, his hands found the letter again and re-read it once, twice, three times and even at the 5th time Harry was still blushing like a madman. 

_ Handsome unknowing young men. _

Draco thinks he’s handsome? 

Harry blinked again and took a few short breaths. And then the squeals came. 

He was hugging his pillow tight to his chest, rocking back and forth in such wild happiness that even he himself was surprised, because he had never reacted so strongly to a compliment - not even when Ginny had said he was the best person she’d ever known.

And he loved the flowers, the tarts, the note, everything about the blonde in general that he wouldn’t mind waiting an eternity for him, even if he had a feeling things wouldn’t turn out so perfectly in the end.

..

Sunday passed in a blur with thousands upon thousands of questions, all that Harry managed to dodge fairly easily. He doesn’t plan on telling anyone anything anytime soon, and he’d like to keep it that way for a long time, maybe 50 years at least. Except for Luna, who apparently knows almost everything. He definitely doesn’t think anything would happen between him and Draco anyway, so he’ll carry that secret to his grave. 

Harry was relieved to see Draco right at the start of the day, which meant they might finally get round to actual tutoring, since Professor Flitwick had pulled Harry aside and asked if they were doing any work at all. Harry had only shrugged awkwardly and laughed, ranking it as one of the top 10 most uncomfortable things to have ever happened to him. 

Draco had looked extremely burnt out, huge eyebags and messy hair and half-tucked in uniform, but he smiled lazily whenever Harry looked his way, which was enough for butterflies to explode in his stomach and his cheeks to flush furiously. Harry wished he could hide his feelings a little better. 

They locked eyes again during Potions, Draco even pulling a silly face that earned a glare from Professor Snape and several giggles from the other tables. Harry pretended to cough again to hide his reddening face, and wished again that Draco would stop having such an effect on him. 

Once Snape had released everyone and the classroom thinned out, Harry began walking over to Draco with a giddy smile, hands tight on the straps of his satchel to stop himself from saying something embarrassing. 

“So you think I’m handsome?” Harry grinned, wiggling his eyebrows stupidly like how Ron does whenever he says something dumb. Draco laughed and rolled his eyes, leaving Harry in awe again of just how utterly beautiful the boy was. 

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself,” Draco replied, grabbing his books and making his way out of the classroom. “Just a means to bribe you, that’s all.” He said again, chuckling when Harry huffed and socked his arm. 

They talked and laughed as they strolled towards the Great Hall, ignoring the curious eyes and whispers of the other students as they walked past. Harry couldn’t care less about what they had to say - what mattered was the blonde beside him and that was enough to take up all, if not most, of his attention. 

They shared between them some grilled meat this time, Draco eating most of the food and Harry happily giving him some more - he really was getting thinner and thinner each time Harry saw him, and he reckoned a diet of just pastries and biscuits wasn’t healthy at all. 

Their second official tutoring session went well, with Draco doing better at the mock theory practices Harry had given him to work on. Harry loved the triumphant look on his face whenever he got something right, because his eyes crinkled and lit up, his smile was wide and he had the faintest hint of a blush on his face, and Harry was sure that he had never seen an expression as radiant and bright as the one Draco was sporting right now. His heart did a few somersaults and his stomach whirled, and once again he wished he could control his feelings a bit more. 

They worked for a couple minutes more before Draco closed his Charms textbook with a sigh, rubbing his tired eyes and letting out a yawn. Harry had started to feel sleepy too, it’s been a long day and though he loved every moment he spent with the blonde, he did need some sleep and it was getting late. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you again,” Draco murmured, his head resting on the table and his eyes closed. “I’m not allowed to tell anyone, but for some reason I really want to tell you.” 

Harry shook his head with an understanding smile. He knew Draco was guarded and his parents were guarded people too, and he was raised to be secretive about his life. Harry was already more than honoured to know that Draco trusts Harry enough to want to tell him despite their friendship of 11 days or so. 

“It’s fine. Tell me when you’re ready. I don’t want to force you into anything.” Harry said, and Draco nodded, his lips strung up in a small smile too. Harry thought there was nothing more beautiful than that, and willed away the blush threatening to creep onto his face. 

“My parents- they- they know people,” Draco said softly, and Harry was about to tell him that he really didn’t need to explain anything, but Draco shushed him before he could even open his mouth. 

“As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me,” Draco continued, laughing when Harry rolled his eyes. “My parents knew people. Bad people. And they’re in a lot of trouble right now, financially and morally and all that.” Draco said, and Harry’s heart broke for the boy. He was only 15 years old, and yet had to carry such a heavy burden with him. 

“I’ve been trying to help out as much as I can. Odd jobs and the like. But it’s just difficult when you have people hunting and chasing you down every second of your life, you know?” Draco sighed. “And I- I’m struggling with something else too, but I don’t think I can say it yet.” He finished, playing with his thumbs like he always did when he was nervous.

Harry nodded sincerely. He knew there were some things that no one could say right off the bat, since he himself was carrying a large secret that he plans never to divulge. Draco’s situation was much more serious, Harry reckoned, and he told the blonde that he’ll help him in any way possible. He  _ was  _ James Potter’s son, and probably has a bottomless vault at Gringotts, so helping a friend out shouldn’t be too much of a problem. 

“Thank you, really. I- I’ve never really told this to anyone and it’s just a little hard to open up sometimes.” Draco smiled, and Harry knew it was genuine. 

They stayed and talked for a little while more, most of it just random talk about classes and plans for the holidays, and though Draco said it was difficult for him to open up, he seemed to be doing marvellously well and Harry was immensely proud of him. So far, he knew a little more things about the blonde; his favourite colour was (surprise surprise) green, he preferred night to day, he wasn’t much of an animal person (Hippogriff fiasco- Harry loved to tease him about that one) and his birthday was on 5th June. Harry considered writing all of this down, but would definitely be deemed as creepy, so he tried to remember as many things about the blonde as possible, and in turn he shared things about himself too. 

They knew it was time to go when Filch came around the corner, and hastily packed their bags before the old caretaker could fuss. Harry was right in the middle of folding up his parchment when Draco tapped him on the shoulder, his bag already slung across his chest and legs ready to go. 

He had a grin on his face, and Harry was about to ask what was so funny before he opened his mouth. 

“I do, you know.” 

Harry blinked in visible confusion, not remembering anything he had said to warrant that random sentence. 

“Do.. what?” He asked, still stuffing things into his satchel.

“Think you’re handsome,” Draco grinned, before turning around and giving Harry a back-handed wave. “See you tomorrow!” He yelled, and then he was gone. 

Harry sat on the bench, stunned, before his cheeks turned a violent shade of red and his heart and stomach and everything in his body stopped functioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCHOOL IS DONE I AM OUT I AM HAPPY jk i failed one subject im just lucky i passed this year tbh SFHSKFJK  
> ANYWAYS i love this chapter i think it's probably my favourite one bc drarry drarry drarry   
> i've also had time to write more thus this chapter is longer and i think i really like it for once nd i rlly hope u guys do too hehe  
> don't forget to leave a kudos nd comment!! i hope u guys had a great day nd ily<3


	7. Handkerchief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finds that telling his friends didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, Draco runs off again but leaves something for Harry, and Harry is just so stupidly heads over heels for the blonde.

Eyes shot to Harry when he stumbled into the common room with a giddy smile and a bounce in his step, and anyone could tell he had just been told some good news. 

As he near floated up the stairs, the smile was wiped off his face when he saw Ron sitting on his bed with a grim look, his hands clutched on a piece of paper. Harry’s heart started pounding, but he kept a calm face and shrugged his bag off his shoulders. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked slowly, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He knew what paper was in Ron’s hands; and though he was a little annoyed that he had read it without his permission he was much more anxious about what Ron thought. Deciding that he couldn’t look at the ginger’s face, Harry dropped his head and traced his index finger on the carpet, hoping that Ron would make it quick to save him from embarrassment. 

“Look, Harry-”

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it, okay! I just like who I like. I’m sorry if it disappointed you or something.” Harry blurted out, and when Ron didn’t say anything, he looked up to see the ginger looking at him weirdly. 

“Harry. I don’t care who you like. Dean and Seamus are literally dating,” Ron said, and Harry widened his eyes. 

“Really?” Harry always knew they were close, but he didn’t know they were _dating._

“It’s so obvious, mate. They hold hands all the time, didn’t you ever notice?” Ron said incredulously, and Harry blinked to process that information. 

“Anyways, I was just surprised you didn’t tell me. I mean, it’s a little weird, definitely. Malfoy? Urgh,” Ron made a face, and Harry rolled his eyes to that, but he knew Ron meant no harm. “But I don’t care. You’re my best friend, for Merlin’s sake, and I wouldn’t dream of restricting you from being yourself.” 

Harry’s eyes shone in gratitude as he smiled at Ron, before he dropped his gaze towards the parchment in the ginger’s hands. 

“I definitely don’t appreciate you going through my things, but thanks anyways.” Harry smirked, and broke out in a laugh when Ron smiled at him sheepishly. 

"Right. Sorry about that, everyone was so curious, you know?” Ron sighed, before dropping the paper into Harry’s hands. “Well, if it’s of any assurance, I like the git’s handwriting. Completely different from who he is as a person. Bet it was Pansy who taught him that, or Snape even.” He snickered, and got off Harry’s bed. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. _Remember to water the flowers!_ ” He laughed, and ducked before the pillow Harry threw could hit him in the face. 

Harry was about to read the letter again before Ron poked his head through the door with a cheery grin. “Can I tell Hermione?” 

Harry’s head shot up instantly, his eyes wide and mouth spluttering.   
  
“Herm- Ron- She- She’ll have my head off! You know she doesn’t like him,” Harry groaned, leaning his forehead against the side of his bed. “She’ll never speak to me again.” 

Ron laughed and shook his head, leaning against the doorway. “She doesn’t care too, you know? She’s been on about this since last week.” 

Harry frowned, though he didn’t move his head. “What do you mean?” 

Ron gulped. “Well- I mean, you _did_ take a relatively shorter time than normal to get him to stop using that third year as a punching bag-” 

“-Ron!”

“-And quite honestly I don’t think friends would be so touchy?” Ron smiled. “Anyway. She doesn’t care. I promise.” 

Harry raised an eyebrow and waved his hand, unfolding the piece of paper again. “Sure, whatever. I have nothing to lose anymore anyway." 

Ron grinned and suddenly made another face. “I still can’t process it though. Of all people, Malfoy?” 

“Ron, please.” 

“I mean, sure, he’s fine looking I guess, but he _is_ a bit snobbish, isn’t he? And he called Hermione that word once-”

“Ron. I will literally hex you.” 

“-But I’m sure he has his good points, though I don’t really see them-”

“-Ron!” 

“Alright, I’m leaving!”

..

Harry was relieved beyond measure when he came downstairs and the entire Gryffindor house didn’t know about his crush on Draco. He was sure that Ron would blab to more than one person, and though he knew it was kind of mean to think about Ron that way, he couldn’t say that it hadn’t happened before. 

“Hey, Harry.” Hermione smiled at him as he sat down, which counted as a victory for Harry. He did feel the urge to sort of apologise though, because even if Draco had changed a little it still didn’t discount the fact that he was a bully in more ways than one, and made Hermione cry on more than one occasion. Yet Hermione didn’t say anything about it, only telling Harry that it was absolutely fine to like whoever he likes, just as long as they aren’t harming each other. 

They stayed in silence for a while, Hermione reading and Ron trying to get through his Divinations homework, until Ginny ran down the stairs with an obviously excited smile on her face. Just as she was about to rush out the door, Ron yelled at her to wait. 

“Gin, it’s like, 9 at night! Where are you going?” 

Ginny rolled her eyes and tied up her hair in a knot - Harry thought she looked a little nicer than usual, like she was going on a date or something - before swinging the door open dramatically. 

“Not any of your business, Ron,” She said, pausing before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Or _yours,_ Fred and George!” She yelled, before shutting the door behind her. 

“I say she’s headed for the Ravenclaw,” Fred grinned, nudging George’s shoulder. 

“Definitely. Did you see the powder she put on her eyes? Truly terrifying.” 

Ron squinted as Harry grinned to himself knowingly, locking eyes with Hermione who seemed to know too. 

“What Ravenclaw? Why didn’t she tell me anything? Why does _no one_ tell me anything these days?” Ron whined, frowning when the rest started laughing and shaking their heads. Harry already felt a hundred times better about everything, and he knew no one would judge or resent him for anything. 

The rest of the night passed cozily, and when everyone had gone to sleep, Harry was still awake, mostly because his nerves kept him up. _Draco thinks I’m handsome._ Harry sighed in pure bliss, the book in his hands long forgotten. 

It was getting harder and harder to deny his steadily growing feelings for the blonde. As much as he tried to, he could never get him out of his mind, and that was already scary all by itself. He had never felt like that ever before in his life, and coupled with the fact that it all happened so quickly, he was nervous - though he didn’t really know why. Maybe he was scared that if Draco ever found out, he’d never talk to him again and that was in Harry’s opinion the worst thing to ever happen. 

As he tried to get his mind to focus on the book he was supposed to read for class tomorrow, the door swung open to reveal Ginny, though her tie was missing and her hair was wild, and Harry was sort of relieved her brothers weren’t there because he knew they would have _many_ things to assume from her attire. 

“Harry?” She croaked, before clearing her throat with a blush and dropping onto the plush two-seater opposite him. Yawning, she stretched out her limbs before turning and looking at him. “What’s on your mind then? Normal people would be upstairs by now.” She smiled, and Harry grinned back. 

“Looks like it went well,” Harry said, and when Ginny flushed red again, Harry couldn’t help but be envious of her. At least things were going well in _her_ life, he thought. 

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Harry started, and took Ginny’s half nod as a sign to continue. “How did you and Luna… get together? I mean it mustn't have been easy.” Harry said, and Ginny smiled and sat up. 

“Feelings are never easy, Harry. We took a long time to figure everything out too,” She said, and met Harry’s eyes when she looked up. “Like she said last time, if he’s the one, everything will work out in the end. Don’t worry too much, you look old when you frown.” She said, and laughed when Harry made a face. 

“But seriously though. Just let things happen naturally, and everything will go well, trust me.” She smiled, before patting his shoulder and making her way up the stairs.

Harry appreciated Ginny talking to him. He always felt like after they had their sort-of breakup, (Harry remembered crying for a few days- it was really embarrassing) they were always extremely cautious around each other. He was glad that their first “real” conversation went smoothly.

Sighing, he knew he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, so he sat there reading until the small hours and until he heard chimes and dusk faded away into morning. 

..

“You look like shit,” Draco laughed when Harry sat down beside him, taking out his books and parchment. Harry smiled sarcastically and rolled his eyes. “Thanks for pointing that out, blondie. Helps with the ego.” He said, though his heart raced when Draco beamed at him. 

“I try my best.” The blonde winked, and Harry had to pinch himself to refrain from squealing. Rolling his eyes, he got out his own homework and was about to start on them, until a thumping so frantic and wild caught their attention and when they looked up, Crabbe was running towards them with a letter - and to Harry it wasn’t an ordinary letter too, because it was dark and ominous and sort of looked like it was on fire? 

Draco’s face turned white and Harry wanted to ask if he was okay, but the blonde shot up out of his seat so fast that Harry couldn’t even say a word. Draco snatched the letter from Crabbe and almost tore it open, and as his eyes furiously went over each line in the letter, Harry only hoped that everything would be okay in the end. 

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake,” Draco sighed, folding the letter before looking at Crabbe with grave eyes. “Send an owl to Andromeda. She’ll know what to do.” As Crabbe nodded and rushed off to the dungeons, Harry had millions of questions, and Draco seemed to sense that, so he turned around and at once the serious frown on his face melted into a smile, and he rushed to pack his things, though he never took his eyes off Harry. 

“I know you have thousands of questions and trust me, I can’t wait to answer all of them,” Draco smiled sympathetically, and took out a beautifully embroidered handkerchief of green and black lace and placed it on top of Harry’s books, much to the surprise of the raven haired boy. 

“Have this for now to accompany you or something. I’ll be back for it soon.” The blonde winked, and then he sped off after Crabbe, leaving Harry in a mix of confusion and a kind of spontaneous happiness, and with shaky hands he held the handkerchief gingerly in his hands, smiling dumbly in disbelief. 

It really was getting harder to will down his feelings for the stupid boy named Draco Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry for taking a little long to update, i had some issues with how i wanted this chapter to turn out but i guess it's okay lol
> 
> i hope everyone had a great day and pls leave comments nd kudos! i alw love to see what u guys think nd it rlly keeps me going<3


	8. Firewhiskey Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's drunk, Harry is so painfully in love that he doesn't realise that maybe he's not the only one.

Harry had considered waiting up for the blonde, but it was pretty obvious that he wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon, so he walked (hopped, really. It was quite a sight.) towards his common room, heart accelerating at groundbreaking speed. His eyes glanced down at the handkerchief in his hands more times than it would ever count as normal, as if it would fly away if Harry so much as looks away for half a second. 

Swinging open the door of the common room, he dropped his bag somewhat haphazardly in the mess of all the other bags, skipping past Dean and Seamus near the fireplace, and when Harry looked a bit closer- they _were_ holding hands, and for some reason that comforted Harry a great deal, so he shot a smile their way though their backs were facing him, making his way up the stairs two at a time, thoughts about Draco flooding back in his head.

Bursting into his room, he dived for his bed and the letter Draco sent those few days ago, barely noticing Ron sitting up very rigidly opposite Harry with a very weird, sort of dreamy smile on his face. Harry knew that smile - it was the same one that appeared whenever he caught the ginger looking in Hermione’s direction - and Harry always teased him for it. Sitting up on his own bed, he raised an eyebrow when Ron looked at him and grinned. “So? What happened?” Harry asked, though he had a feeling it had something to do with passing an unusually excited Hermione talking animatedly with Ginny in the corridors. 

“Mate,” Ron whispered, clambering closer to Harry with a smile so wide and bright it was almost a little alarming, before sighing happily and wrapping his arms around himself. Harry thought he looked ridiculous, but he was sure he looked that way to the others too whenever he came back from a day spent with Draco. 

“I think I’m in love,” Ron said dreamily, and Harry could tell that he was. Anyone could, frankly, but Harry didn’t want to ruin his moment. To be honest, he’d been waiting for this moment for an excruciating few years when Ron first looked at Hermione not with annoyance, but with a sort of gentle fondness that Harry hadn’t seen ever before in the ginger. It was amusing and Harry had a kick out of it for weeks, teasing Ron every chance he got. But he was honestly happy for them, and quite relieved too. He didn’t know how much longer he could put up with the painfully obvious sexual tension in the air. “I can’t believe it’s taken so long for us to get together, Harry. Was I too subtle?”

“Yeah, about as subtle as your hair. Congratulations though.” Harry teased, and this time it was him ducking down as Ron threw a pillow at him, both boys grinning and laughter bouncing off the walls. 

..

Harry woke up in the dead of the night, and a quick glance around the room told him that it was well after midnight, with everyone snoring - and to Harry’s amusement, Seamus’ bed empty - because he had crawled into Dean’s. 

Shaking his head with a smile, Harry was about to go back to sleep until he had a nagging feeling that someone was outside their common room; it was the same feeling he had felt when Draco had first asked him for his help all those days ago, and of course, once thoughts of the blonde were in Harry’s head he’d stop at nothing to see him again, so he grabbed his robes and glasses on the way out of the dorm and wrapped it around himself - bringing an extra one just in case. 

Tiptoeing past a knocked-out Ginny lying on the loveseat, Harry silently made his way to the end of the common room, opening the door as slowly as possible and wishing that it would be a little quieter. 

When he stepped out into the chilly air, he didn’t see anyone at first - it was too dark, really - but his eyes adjusted quickly and he gasped when a figure was sprawled at his slippers, the unmistakable brightness of blonde hair catching his attention. 

“Draco?” Harry whispered, and he quickly dropped to his feet, heart pounding. Shaking the blonde’s shoulders, he waited a while before a small giggle rose from the boy in his hands and when he looked up, Harry’s breath was taken away.

Draco had the strongest blush blooming across his cheeks, his lips cherry red and eyes bright and icey grey. The blonde hiccuped - he reeked of Firewhiskey - and Harry widened his eyes, shock evident in his face. 

“Draco, have you been drinking? Merlin, that’s illegal.” Harry whispered harshly, and shut up immediately when Draco placed an unsteady finger to his lips. Millions of thoughts flew past Harry’s mind in lightning speed, though at the same time it was as blank as a fresh piece of parchment, and Harry gulped, fighting the blush threatening to bloom. Ignoring the blonde’s protests, Harry wrapped the extra robe around Draco, despite just wanting to pull him into the warmth of his common room. 

“Your _face_ is illegal,” Draco said very loudly, giggling when Harry whipped his head left and right, checking out for teachers or worse - Filch. He was so caught up in making sure no one spotted them that he didn’t even realise what Draco said. His face was illegal, whatever that meant. Harry had some idea though, but the idea registered dumbly in his head before it died a very quick death due to Harry’s great amount of denial. 

Probably without knowing it; because Harry would die if it was done knowingly, Draco had crawled into Harry’s lap, hooking his pale arms around Harry’s neck that had become very hot very quickly. Harry wanted to scream. And cry. There were a lot of things he wanted to do in the moment, but instead he wrapped cautious arms around the blonde’s waist, sighing into the touch when Draco made no move to get off. 

It was a little uncomfortable, because the gaps of the stairs were digging into Harry’s side, but he really couldn’t complain, because _Oh my God Draco Malfoy is in my lap I am hugging him we are in very close proximity_ and he couldn’t even feel the dull throbbing, not really, with the way Draco was looking at him. He smiled giddily, and despite himself, Harry smiled back with equal adoration. 

Draco rested his chin on the crook of Harry’s neck, taking a deep breath and smiling. Harry tried not to let the fact that Draco’s lips were on his neck affect him greatly, so he grinded his teeth together in a sort of sad effort to ground himself. 

“You smell nice.” Draco whispered after a beat, twirling strands of Harry’s messy dark hair. Blushing furiously, Harry only sighed and held the blonde close as he hummed a tune and drummed his fingers on Harry’s back. The raven haired boy had thousands of questions - why was he drinking? What happened with his parents? Was he alright? 

But he couldn’t bring himself to say a word, only sitting there, rubbing circles into Draco’s back and feeling the vibrations from the blonde’s chest because of the humming. 

Harry smiled, hugging him a little tighter. “I didn’t know you liked music-y things.” He murmured, feeling his adoration for this boy spike higher. 

“My mother used to sing that to me when I - _hic-_ couldn’t sleep. She sings it much better than me, though, that’s for sure.” Draco smiled, frowning when Harry looked at him with a teasing grin. 

“Oh? Who’s the mama’s boy now?” Harry beamed, laughing when Draco swatted his arm. 

“Ugh, that stupid letter. I wish I didn't write it. Humiliating enough as it was to get - _hic-_ roses for you," Draco said dramatically. "Did you know how much time I wasted in Hogsmeade trying to find the best ones? Merlin, and all that time trying to bake too. Anyone would think I was in love with you or something.” 

Harry almost stopped breathing. It was hard to when Draco was looking at him like that. Like what he said was true. Like he _was_ in love with Harry. 

“And if you were?” 

Draco scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was confused.

“Were what?” 

Harry gulped. He wished he said nothing. 

“You know. In love with me?” Harry said. He tried to pass it off as a joke, adding a horribly awkward wink behind the stupid sentence he just uttered, but he knew Draco thought he meant it. And he _did_ mean it. With every fibre of his body. 

Time seemed to trickle past painfully slowly as they sat there, Harry’s hands starting to shake nervously as Draco stared at him. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Draco said quietly, and suddenly he was inches away from Harry’s face. 

Harry could feel his heart pound, his hands shake, his breathing get ragged and shallow. His eyes flicked between the blonde's mouth and eyes, not knowing where to look. He swallowed dryly.

“Especially if it meant I could do this.” 

Draco leaned in, and their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY IT TOOK A LITTLE WHILE TO POST THIS IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK IM TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE DRARRY KISS YUP THANK U BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY ILY PLS LEAVE KUDOS ND COMMENTS MUAH MUAH


	9. orphaning :(

hi everyone!! 

IM SORRY IF U THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE AN UPDATE BTW SHKLDKFJSFK

anyways im going to orphan this bc i rlly dont have the motivation to write it anymore IM SO SO SORRY BUT i have a new fic on my profile (@/wxngdii) nd i find it easier to write that one bc this fic just makes me feel stressed idk bc i constantly think that i HAVE to update it within a certain amount of time nd it's stressing me out whereas that fic ive already established that ill update it in my own time so idk anyways i just dont wanna work on this one anymore so

if theres any writers who wanna add onto this fic IT IS PERFECTLY FINE in fact id be so stoked to read any of ur works so :D

my profile is still @/wxngdii so u can always find me there or my instagram under the same username! 

im sorry to whoever who wanted this fic to go on :( ill try better with my other fic to make up for this one nd i hope u support me nd my other fic<3

that's all from me nd i wish everyone well!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s BIDEN WON YALL i can rest easy now


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